We're done

We have three boys. After a lot of discussion, late night listening-to-baby-mad-he's-not-asleep-screaming, and Negi finding new and interesting ways to push our buttons, Eric and I agreed. We're done. No more babies. Granted, we also thought that after Oliver, but there was always a question mark in that statement and what do you know, Izzy came along. Now there's no question mark; instead, it's a period. Full stop.

My parents will make mention of my little knights needing a princess to protect. I point out that sister A got married last year. She can provide the princesses and new babies. We're delighted to sleep through the night. It's not that we don't love babies-- the constant freaking out over any baby photo that comes across my instagram or facebook feed is proof of that. As is the Huggies commercials making me want to cry a few times per day. I send Eric lots of adorable baby pictures. He says no. It's a back-and-forth teasing we do.

I'd LOVE a baby. So sweet, small, cuddly... Izzy was our biggest boy, and came out a fully-formed chunky baby. He didn't really go through the "Newborn," phase. My ovaries would love it. Honestly though, with these three we are already stretched to our limit. Financially, mentally, and physically. I'm a believer that if you're saving to have a kid, you'll never have one. It's never the "right," time to have a baby, but when you are blessed with one you make it work. We've made it work three times, and I can firmly say that enough is enough. We are proud of our little men, each so silly and different and wonderful, and want to focus on helping them grow into the awesome adults I know they'll be. Later today I'm running out to get a copy of Negi's birth certificate and shots records-- the last things needed to sign him up for Preschool this fall. Just the thoughts of completing the application makes me want to burst into tears because MY BABY IS GROWING UP. Next fall he'll be in kindergarten, Oli will be in preschool, and soon Izzy will go through the system as well. But they're all so smart and I know they'll do wonderfully-- they've got my nerdy bookish genes and Eric's math-savvy common sense, so it's the best of both worlds.

My body is pretty terrible at being pregnant, according to my midwife. Pregnancy hormones suck, especially when you already have a history of depression. The physical symptoms are nutty too. For the foreseeable future, we aren't ready to face the idea of going through another pregnancy and dealing with a newborn and then an infant and a Terrible Two and a Threenager. Labor itself was awesome and short, and I give the epidural an A+ would absolutely get again and my favorite part of the process.

I've felt guilty for a long time (several months, really) for my body screaming at me to have another baby but Eric and I firmly saying NO. Everyone around us is telling us to wait and see because we'll have it anyway, or that we can't *really* want to be done, or that we will try again for a girl... no. Eric's been cool with it, and I've finally come to terms with it, too. It's okay not to have another baby.

If God has another plan, we can't really argue with it (pro-life right here). As long as we are given the decision, though, we're done.