Moms are weird. We are in a position that needs a lot of support (look up the term "it takes a village" because dude. truth.), but every move we make is criticized and scrutinized by family, friends, and strangers alike. Even as fellow moms, if we see someone parenting in a way that is different from our own we may tend to subtly criticize in that girl-perfected backhand comment. ("Oh you bottle feed? Yeah, we were going to do that but we love our children so breast is best.") If we see someone parenting in a way that we wish we could have, we compliment them and hate on ourselves. There's so, so much pressure. Either way, it may feel like we're always getting it wrong. And that's not right.
So let's change it up.
Is your child fed? You're doing a Good Job.
It honest-to-goodness doesn't matter if it's via breastfeeding, bottle feeding, g-tube, food on a plate, etc. As long as you've made the genuine effort to feed your child, you did the right thing.
Is your child clean? You're doing a Good Job.
I actually saw at least two fights break out in mommy groups about how often their children are bathed. Answers ranged from multiple times per day to a couple times per week to whenever they may need it, and no matter how you answered you were wrong. Well guess what? As long as you're actually bathing your kid at some point, you're doing it right.
Is your child aware of consequences good and bad? You're doing a Good Job.
Growing up, cleaning our room meant earning coins. Biting a sibling because they tried to change Barbie's clothes meant a spanking. I know some people whose parents never spanked them, and they turned out fine. My parents spanked me, and my siblings and I aren't horrible scarred. :P There's a difference between straight up beating your child (which actually is a terrible thing) and a swat on the bum when they're old enough to know better, and there's some smart kids that never need the swat, too. I wasn't that smart, but some of my sisters were. Timeouts, swats, redirection, serious talking-to... As parents from a colorful variety of backgrounds, we have Opinions when it comes to disciplining, and whoever is doing something different is wrong. I'm gonna tell you right now: as long as your child is aware that good choices = good outcomes and bad choices = bad outcomes, you're doing the best that you can.
Is your child diapered? You're doing a Good Job.
I cloth diaper primarily to save money because I had 3 in diapers at one point. Some moms have had great experience with Huggies, Luvs, Up'n'Up, Meijer brand, or Pampers. If you put effort and research into it (those coupons and discount codes are a must!), both can be inexpensive. As long as there's something covering your baby's booty, you're doing just fine. :)
Is your child loved? You're doing a Good Job.
When I think of my childhood, I remember that Mama loved us sooo much and did her best. My mama used to beat herself up and still does about how she wasn't a perfect housewife, but by golly she was a wonderful homemaker and mother. Was our house sparkly clean? No. Did she take the time to tell us how much she loved us every day, and showed it in everything she did? Yes. As long as your child knows that you love them to the moon and back, you're doing wonderfully.
Between the insanity of juggling school schedules, making meals, grocery shopping, working outside-or-inside the home, dog walks, cleaning all the things, after school activities, daycare dropoff and pickup, feeding everyone, and the million other tasks you have to take care of every day... you might not have heard this yet, so I'm gonna say it: You're doing a Good Job. You're a great parent. I'm proud of you. <3